Dealing with the abuse: Writing

note: This blog post is part of the posts relating to my experience as a volunteer for women survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

In the latest drop-in sessions, I discovered how writing can be important in the healing process that this women are going through. Thus, I think it is important to share some “tips” that they found useful,in the hope that others will also find them beneficial.

Writing about…

…Voices
If you hear voices, you are not going crazy. Don’t dismiss them, they won’t go away.
Write them down instead, as they come up to you.Just by the mere fact that you write them down, you acknowledge them and take care of them. You take care of the parts of you they represent. It doesn’t matter if you follow what they say.
In fact, You’ll find that they conflict with each other, most likely. You may want to follow one, and the others will accuse you you are neglecting them. But you are not. You are telling them, loook I can take care of you, because I am listening to this voice now, next time I may listen to any of you.

…Your Abuse
When you talk about your abuse, you often do it in general terms. You may do so because it is too painful to explain the details, or you can’t find the words, or you are afraid to upset your listener.
But what you feel is miles away from that general statement. You may recall the sensory emotions related to your abuse: the curtains, the smell in the room, the abuser’s touch, what you were wearing, how the light filtered in the room, the time of the day and so on.
Write all this down.
Writing your memories is important: if you write your memories, you will start to take that lid off, the cap that is pressing you down. You can go back to them and use them as a validation of your experience, even if, as sometimes happens, you forget some of the memories you wrote down. It doesn’t mean that you invented them, your brain can switch them on and off and this may leave you with a sense of confusion and doubt.
Also writing your memories will help you release what you feel you can’t say. And you can let someone read what you wrote or keep it to yourself.
Often your memories won’t be in sequence and you will feel that you can’t make sense of them. It doesn’t matter, write what you have got. If you feel that there’s something you can’t write, then write that there is something you cannot write yet. It helps you identifying particularly painful areas.